i am a conversation (Fury and Patience)
by Kirjavi
Summary: Before they were Garnet, they were just two Gems, alone, scared, and small. At least they had each other. A pre-canon ficlet about how Ruby and Sapphire come to form Garnet.


i am a conversation

(fury and patience)

The war was starting, and everyone knew it.

There were little skirmishes and fights everywhere warp pads reached, tiny battles and quarrels both on Earth and Homeworld. The indigenous beings– humans, she corrected herself– kept well away from them, and cowered in fear whenever a crystalline invader came into sight.

Sapphire sighed and leaned against Ruby. The other Gem absentmindedly wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in close, eyes staring off into future-filled space.

"What are you seeing?" she asked quietly.

Ruby blinked, breaking the trance. Then, in an uncharacteristic silence, she bowed her head and covered her mouth. Her shoulders began to shake and a deep foreboding settled in the pit of Sapphire's stomach. She swallowed hard. "Ruby!" She shook her lover's shoulder gently. "What did you see?"

A single tear slipped down Ruby's face and she leaned into Sapphire as the red Gem began to sob.

Sapphire held her lover as hard as she could as the night of the battle drew closer.

Ruby never had the guts to tell Sapphire what she saw.

Truth be told, she never had the guts to tell herself what she saw, if that made any sense (the acknowledgement that she was scared was bitter in her mouth. It was a foreign feeling, being afraid).

The visions got worse and worse the longer she watched. It started off with Rose Quartz and her army being captured and imprisoned, and ended with the dull, heavy weight of Sapphire's gem cradled in her hands and tears dripping down her face as the battle raged on around her.

What she saw was the main reason Ruby was so reluctant to join the war against Homeworld, although she was loath to admit it.

Last night, Rose Quartz had approached them and asked if they had considered fighting on her side, against those who wanted to strip Earth of its resources until it was just another chunk of rock, floating through empty space.

Sapphire had looked at her and she could read the question in her face even without seeing her they fight, and risk their lives? Or would they leave, and risk their consciences?

She had looked up at Rose and asked her to give them more time, even though she knew the battle drew closer and closer with each passing second.

Rose, kind, sweet Gem that she was, had nodded understandingly and said yes, of course, when you're ready, and moved away, her curly mass of hair swaying gently from side to side. Ruby had watched her go and tugged Sapphire closer to her, burying her hands in her hair.

Now they lay side by side, every inch of skin touching, faces so close together each breath intermingled. The warm Earth sun tingled on her skin in waves, but it was nothing compared to the blazing heat Sapphire set under her skin, like a tiny fire in her soothing crash of the waves sounded like a countermelody to the soft wind and she knew that this was the calm before the storm.

"Are we going to fight?" Sapphire whispered. Her words were cool against Ruby's skin.

"I– I don't know." Ruby looked away, up at the sun. "I don't want to– I don't want to lose you." Just admitting the possibility of losing the single most important person in her life made her feel sick.

"We have to," Sapphire persisted. "This planet needs us. _They _need us," she said looking down at the humans launching their primitive boats into the ocean below.

"_I_ need you," Ruby cried, heedless of who might hear. "I can't stand the thought of losing you!"

Sapphire's hands traced over her face, gently brushing away her tears. She kissed her gently on the forehead, on that sensitive place between her eyes.

"You won't lose me," promised Sapphire, "and I won't lose you. Never."

Ruby held her as tight as she could and kissed every inch of Sapphire she could reach. There was a shaking and a humming deep inside her, as if everything she knew and everything she trusted was falling away from her, as she let go of her doubts. And she whispered even though every rational thought in her brain screamed at her not to (this was why she loved Sapphire, she made her feel brave and terrified at the same time), "We'll fight."

Rose was delighted when they joined her, of course (she acted like every person mattered, and it did).

She introduced them to her lieutenant, Pearl, and she was, Sapphire thought, on_e_ of the least-likely Gems to defect. Even so, they worked well together, formatting plans of attack and if need be, escape routes.

The small skirmishes and fights increased in both number and intensity, tiny little wars both on Earth and in space.

Morale fell alongside Gems on the battlefields, but although Homeworld had better technology, they had better soldiers, as Rose so often reminded them. Even so, it was hard to see fellow Gems come back with more and more wounds, and harder yet to see Ruby grow steadily more tired as time went on.

The tipping point came when Rose announced that they would be making their final stand tomorrow.

A hush fell on the small army of Gems gathered there in the cave beside the beach as each one of them realized that there was a very real possibility that they might die in the next twenty-four hours.

Sapphire pushed through the crowd of Gems, looking frantically for Ruby and wishing she was taller. In a heartbeat she saw her and dashed toward her, skirts flying about her legs as she ran.

They crashed together like the rolling waves outside, fitting together like two halves of a cloven stone (they had each other's curves and crevices memorized, graven into every corner of their brains).

"It's going to be a massacre," breathed Ruby, hands twining of their own accord into Sapphire's hair. "What are we going to do?" Her eyes were wide as she flipped through futures only she could see. Sapphire cupped her lover's face in her gloved hands, willing her to focus on the here and now.

Slowly, her eyes began to focus, until Ruby came back to herself and gazed at Sapphire, tormented eyes, and disheveled hair. "Sapphire," she whispered. "We're all going to die."

Sapphire sank to the floor, slowly, and her skirts puddled around her in a pool of white and blue. Ruby followed her down, sat cross-legged on the cool stone floor and covered her face.

"Are you sure?" she asked quietly. Her voice, soft as it was, echoed none the less about the now-empty cavern. "Every one of us, dead?"

Ruby let out a great shuddering sigh and buried her face in Sapphire's hair. Gently, she hummed aloud until she was ready to talk.

"We're all going to die," she said again, voice muffled in Sapphire's hair. "There's a chance– a tiny chance– that we'll make it. But. . ."

She didn't need to say any more. Sapphire pressed kisses to every part of Ruby she could reach and Ruby leaned into her touch, like a cat.

"What are we going to do?" she said quietly as the red Gem held her close (Ruby could still feel the dead weight of Sapphire's gem in her hands, in the way bad dreams had of lingering on, and it sickened her). "I can't. . . I don't want to die." The normally calm Gem's voice broke a bit on that last word. "Not without you."

Ruby sat up. "Then we won't." Her eyes were shining with that manic glint she got whenever they went into battle.

"What do you mean?"

"We won't die alone." Ruby hugged her gleefully, exuberant.

"What?" Sapphire grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to meet her gaze. "What are you talking about?"

"Sapphire." Ruby held out a hand to her. "Fuse with me." Her eyes were dancing.

There was no hesitation in her movements as she took Ruby's hand in her own.

It was not so much a dance as it was a mirroring, a series of graceful, perfect movements. Each dancer knew the other so closely, so lovingly, that they seemed to anticipate each other's motions. Slowly, slowly, they drew closer to each other as their hearts began to beat as one.

A warm, welcome heat began to pulse in Ruby's gem as it began to glow. She laughed, exuberant, joyful.

Sapphire began laughing as well, caught up in Ruby's happiness. The gem on her palm began to warm as well, sending tingling pulses of heat through her veins. She met Ruby's eyes, asked a silent question.

Ruby nodded once and swept herself into a fall, in perfect faith that her partner would catch her.

With sure hands, Sapphire caught her, one hand wrapped around her back and the other supporting the back of her head.

She pressed her lips to Ruby's, feeling them curve into a smile underneath her own.

She smiled in response (how could she not?) and the world faded into red and blue.

She opened her eyes. For a moment, the world swam around her in shades of blue and red, then she blinked and her eyes refocused. She blinked again, faintly perplexed. She appeared to have three eyes.

She tried standing up and after a few wobbly false starts, she managed it. She was taller than they thought.

They.

Then she remembered who she was.

"Are you all right?" she asked quietly (truthfully, she wasn't really certain who she was asking).

"Yes. Yes! This is–amazing!"

She stretched out her arms, amazed by how much taller she was. Her new hair was quite something– a near-perfect cube of curly black hair. There was a gem embedded in each of her hands and she marveled at how good this felt.

The newly-formed Gem wrapped her arms around her torso, hugging herself, and sighed.

"I love you," she whispered, and smiled.

To say that fusion, in Gem culture, was a big deal, would practically be the understatement of the millenia.

First off, most Gems were of the opinion that, as a weapon, fusing with another Gem was crude and tasteless, no better than the primitive spears and knives of the humans that inhabited this planet.

Secondly, it was a bit of a social taboo. Combining yourself with another person– it was lewd, base, unseemly. You lost your sense of identity, your self. To the fiercely independent Gems, almost nothing could be worse.

The worst of it (or best of it, depending on your perspective) was that it was so _intimate_. So organic. Love was, more or less, a foreign emotion in the utilitarian Gem society. In fact, one of the reasons that Homeworld wanted to imperialize Earth was the fact that it seemed to have an odd effect on Gems, making them more susceptible to such feelings and reducing compliancy (a prime example of this would be Rose Quartz's trusted lieutenant, Pearl).

It wasn't good to have such strong emotions for another person, much less trust them enough to combine your mind, your body, and your very DNA.

But that was what they had done, nonetheless.

And to them, it was glorious.

There was this immense feeling of love, of acceptance, of sheer and utter joy that suffused her mind, flowing through her crystalline veins like liquid gold. As she walked, she could feel power untapped, lying in wait hidden away in her limbs.

She could not keep herself from smiling and it was amazing.

She entered the part of the Temple Rose used for war meetings and stood waiting by the door for a chance to talk with Rose. If anyone should be told about this new development, it was her.

Pearl, faithful, loyal Pearl, noticed her first and whipped around, drawing her spear in a flash and moving to protect Rose. "Who are you and what are you doing here?" she challenged, voice tense despite her attempts to seem nonchalant.

She held up her hands in the universal sign for peace. "It's just me," she said. "It's just us. Ruby and Sapphire." The two gems on her palms glinted, adding truth to her story.

Pearl glanced at Rose, waiting for her command, and Rose nodded. She dismissed her weapon and stood aside as Rose came forward. Even fused, they were still shorter than her. "So you two fused, then?" she asked.

She nodded. "We didn't want to die alone," was all she said.

Rose smiled. She was always one of the more accepting Gems, and she laid a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Good for you," she said. "how long are you planning on being fused?"

There was a split-second deliberation between them, then she had their answer. She looked up and met Rose's eyes. "For as long as we can," she answered.

Beside her, Pearl made a face. "You'd fuse for that long?" asked the younger Gem, long nose wrinkled in distaste. "Why?"

She smiled down at her with no small amount of irony on her face. "You'll understand one day," she said.

Pearl huffed, rolling her eyes, but kept her silence after that.

Rose met her eyes, smiling that wonderful, gentle smile that touched her eyes and made them sparkle. "Ruby. Sapphire," she said. "You are not one person, and you are not two people. You are a feeling, and you will never end." She leaned in and placed a single loving kiss on her forehead. "Make sure you're a good one."

"Thank you," she said softly.

"What do we call you?" Rose asked gently.

She summoned a pair of reflective, pointed sunglasses and put them on, covering the only visible clue to the fact that she was a fusion, and stood up straight. A small, enigmatic smile curved her lips.

"Call me Garnet," she said.

**Author's Notes: Props to my little sister for coming up with a title. I owe her one.**

**My decision to make Ruby the one with future vision was a hard one. I based it on the fact that Ruby seemed blind in "Jail Break", which I attributed to a lack of control over her power due to the disorientation of being unfused. Also, I like the thought of Ruby having the altogether more mysterious power of future vision and Sapphire, the calm, princess-type character, beating people up with gauntlets or brass knuckles or whatnot.**

**As always, leave a comment or kudos and thanks for reading!**


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